Vamlumtimes!

Valentines Day plans!

This is probably the first time [at least in the past couple years] that i'm actually excited for Valentines Day.

My friends & I are planning on making homemade valentines cards for the boyfriends/girlfriends we don't have & then going to the beach & burning them.

I haven't decided if its a bitter action or if it's like that one movie where you'd write a letter to Santa then burn it & the smoke would carry all the kids wishes to Santa. Or maybe it'll be like a smoke signal to God. hahaha

Whatever it is, however we decide to individually take it, i'm excited :]

& I'm actually quite proud w/ how mine is turning out, even though my construction people is so old that my black is brown & my white is tan. [[hehe black&white; i honestly wasn't actually going for bitter]]

Birthdaayyy!

I was really stressed & depressed about my 20th birthday. I wasn't sure what i was going to do, if i was going to do anything, who i was going to invite. It was awful!

But in the end, after many failed ideas, it all finally came together wonderfully :] so i was no longer stressed. just depressed.

I ended up crashing my friends little brother's party & playing in a jumper w/ these kids who kept pushing me down the mountain. Then from there, a few of us went to the movies to see The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. [AMAZING MOVIE!!! <--- total understatement] Some random old guy bought me Dibs for my bday. hahaThen we came back here, hung out, played games, & ate...alot. haha

Being 20 is soo blah.

I'm no longer a teen, but i'm not considered an adult. I'm at a limbo aion [hooray for Greek words!]

But I'm glad i was able to celebrate my blahness w/ a handful of my favorite people :]

Galatians 5:17

Galatians 5:17 "For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish"

God's Word tells us to love the Lord with all of our heart, with all of our soul, and with all of our strength [Deut 6:4,5]. When you first got saved, you gave your heart to Jesus first. You didn't give Him your soul or our strength first. You gave Him your heart.

Satan will always counterfeit what God does, and do the exact opposite. He'll always go after your mind first, because he knows that if he can get something into your mind and get you to think continually about it, then he can get you to do it. That's why it's so important to realize that you CAN control your thoughts and desires.

Sin always starts in the mind. It's not sin to have an evil thought- that's temptation; but it is wrong to dwell on and entertain those thoughts. To make it simpler: A bird can lay an egg on your head, but only you can let him build a nest in your hair!

James 1:13-15 reminds us that if we think about sin long enough, we'll desire to sin. If we want to sin, we will eventually sin. After sin is done, it will leave us dead. That's why it's so important to walk in the Spirit and feed your mind with the Word of God.

Paul sums it up in Galatians 5:24,25: "And those who are Christ's have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit let us also walk in the Spirit." His Spirit helps you overcome evil desires!

Congrats Hollywood.

You're putting out some amazing looking movies.

Let's hope they don't disappoint ;]

All Dogs Go To Heaven

I miss this goofball.

what are your thoughts on Doggy Heaven?

I want to believe it exists, but I'm not too sure about it...

A Dog's Prayer

Remember me always but do not grieve for me too long

I have tried always to comfort you in times of sorrow, and have made every effort to add joy to your life.

I never wanted to cause you pain.

Peace for me is certain now, and I suspect I will have eternal sleep in the earth I have loved so well.

Please, after your period of grieving for me, make room in your heart for another.

You are the kind of human being that should always have a friend like me to love.

Your kind and gentle heart should not be wasted on my memory for too long.

Give your love to another.

I know your new friend will never take my place, because we had something very special.

It may not be quite the same, but a new devoted and loving companion will in time, become special in their own way.

You loved me very much and I loved you.

My spirit will always be with you, and no matter how deep my sleep, my grateful tail will always be wagging for you.

Hell Week

• Sat.- Mom abandons me to go to Illinois for 2 weeks.
• Sun.- blah day. gave up hope of going to see Family Force 5 [i won free tix, but no one could/would go w/ me]
• Mon.- concert day turned depression day. complete w/ cookie dough ice cream, pudding made by my amazing sister, hair dye, & the ever so wonderful Edward Scissorhands. oh! & this is the night my puppy [Ian] got hurt. he had me up till 2.

• Tues.- cleaning day. Ian seemed to be a little better so we didn't take him to the vet.
• Wed.- Ian gets worse. more cleaning. he had me up till 2 again.
• Thurs.- Take Ian to the vet. Vet poked him, & gave him pain meds... then went to Knott's Scary Farm. got home @ 2, Ian got even worse, had me up till 4am.

• Fri.- wake up @ 8am & Ian lost movement in his back legs. he pooed in my room. have to carry him to the vet. Then we have to take him to the better vet... out in Tustin! he needs an MRI so we leave him there. find out that he has a ruptured disk in his lower back & a compressed disk in his mid back. He has surgery. Come home & nap then go to football game.
• Sat.- I did absolutely nothing. just sleep.

my baby is still at the docs office & they're telling us he's doing as well as is to be expected.

Mom comes home thursday.

Friday I leave for San Diego w/ friends for a concert & i'll be back Saturday. then Sunday I think my sister [Becca] is coming to town! :D

So things should be looking up soon.

corn FLAKES

I wish people would just be honest instead of making lame excuses & lying. Honestly, I'd rather be disappointed w/ the truth than be crushed that you lied.

"The worst thing about being lied to is knowing you weren't worth the truth."

Alot of people tell me I go to too many concerts.

But really, what qualifies as "too many"? How many is too many?

& who are they to judge? hahaha

(photo cred: Jessicaaaa)

I'd just like to say, My friends are the greatest. I know i say that alot [if i don't, then i should!] but it's true. They make me feel better about some of the crappier stuff in my life & I couldn't love them more for it. I really am spoiled to have such amazing people in my life. Now, I'm not gunna lie, we do have our ugly moments where we don't really see eye to eye, but who doesn't? We get through them & grow from them. <3

Ehlers-Danlos syndrome

I think I have it.

Symptoms vary widely based on which type of EDS the patient has. In each case, however, the symptoms are ultimately due to faulty or reduced amounts of Type III collagen. EDS most typically affects the joints, skin, and blood vessels, the major signs and symptoms include:

• Highly flexible fingers and toes
• Loose, unstable joints that are prone to: sprains, dislocations, subluxations (partial dislocations), hyperextension(double jointedness) ^[3]
• Flat feet
• High and narrow palate, resulting in dental crowding
• Easy bruising
• Fragile blood vessels resulting from cystic medial necrosis with tendency towards aneurysm (even abdominal aortic aneurysm)
• Velvety-smooth skin which may be stretchy
• Abnormal wound healing and scar formation
• Low muscle tone and Muscle weakness
• Early onset of osteoarthritis
• Cardiac effects: Dysautonomia usually accompanied by Valvular heart disease (such as mitral valve prolapse, which creates an increased risk for infective endocarditis during surgery, as well as possibly progressing to a life-threatening degree of severity of the prognosis of mitral valve prolapse) ^[4]

There are other symptoms, but these are the main ones & i have like 6 of them.... lol

You're beautiful, it's true.

Sometimes girls just need to hear that they're pretty. Not hot. Not sexy. Pretty.(or beautiful) & it needs to be genuine. Not just some jerk trying to hit on her. Or a girl who says "you're pretty" but the look in her eye says "i hate your face!". lol no.
I don't exactly know where I was going with this, but i felt like it needed to be said.
So I said it :]
I know i have alot of issues with my own self esteem & self confidence & all that jazz. Whether it be my acne, my height, my weight, or my hair length (yeah i'm still sad about that...lol). After 19 years though, I'm beginning to cope w/ my height. & as much as I hate to admit it, alot of it has to do w/ two guys, from bands I like, complementing me on being tall in a totally non-creepy way. [guess boys can be good for something...] I know it sounds retarded & I shouldn't care what these strangers think, but if it was for the better, why not? & I think the thing that i liked most was it wasn't coming from a shorty loving my height because they wished they were tall, it was coming from people who are taller than me. [yes! they do exist! haha]
again, I don't know where I was going w/ this. just thought I'd share, i guess. It's been on my mind lately & i haven't posted a blog in a while so this is what i give you :]

This one's for the girls-

"Go where you're celebrated, not tolerated."

"Expectation without communication equals frustration"

"That's why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they'd call them something else"- 16Candles

2 most horrible things parents say.

The 2 worst things parents say:

1."Because I said so"

2."I don't need to explain myself"

Those are the two phrases that bug me to bits! "Because I said so" I understand can be a last resort when a child isn't listening, but all we want to know is WHY you're saying so. What is your reasoning behind it?
"I don't need to explain myself" but sometimes it helps. Especially when we don't understand. Instead that just cuts off the conversation & leaves us frustrated. We just want to understand where you're coming from so maybe we could see your side of it. Lord knows we're stubborn, but maybe if we had some logical answers as to why we're being told what we're being told we might understand and maybe even agree in the end.
Communication is waaay important!
Be open =]

Who put the "glad" in "gladiator"?

Negativity & I, we don't get along very well. I don't like being mad at people. I don't like fighting with people. I don't like people being mad at me, it makes me sad. I especially don't like when my parents are upset w/ me.
It seems like there has been a lot of negativity in my life lately. I could blame it on current events. I could blame it on what's going on in the world. Heck! I could even blame it on the cosmos [if i believed in all that jazz]. But I'm pretty sure that would get me nowhere. Bottom line is, I let it get to me.
But hopefully all that nonsense is dead & gone, and it's back to seeing a bright side in everything! Well... almost everything. =]

On another note:
4th of July was super!! My most favoritest holiday EVER was spent with the fam bam & Allegra & Deanna. Lots of food, yummy cobbler, delicious guacamole, pretty [&dangerous] fireworks, Edward Scissorhands & Beetlejuice, & sitting on the roof.
I also went fishing the other day! yay me! haha It was definitely an experience. I got seasick & slept most of the time. But the time when I was conscious was pretty fun. I caught a couple fish... with some help =]. lol I didn't get sunburned even though i slept in the sun! and I didn't fall overboard! :D That in itself is a success in my book.

Need a blue sky holiday

I've been having a really crappy day!

Woke up at noon [horrible]. We ran out of cereal, so I settled for applesauce and a frozen burrito since it was basically lunch anyway. Went to go buy a gift for Ashley, who's wedding is tomorow, & forgot a card...and something to wrap it in. Went to go look at shoes for the wedding but the mother was being ridiculous and forcing me to rush through the store because we didn't have time because I had to get my hair did later. I said let's just come back after, but she insisted we just hurry. Didn't find anything...didn't look real well...we were both annoyed at eachother. Got the hairs did. It's gone. My hair is now up to my shoulders. It hasn't been this short since 7th grade. It's cute, but I cried. I'm still crying. I can't get over it. Now the hair style I was planning on doing for the wedding is out the window. Came home and was supposed to go back out to eat; DIDN'T. Ended up having chips & guacamole, a slice of cheese, and a piece of beef jerky for dinner. I thought we were gunna go get a card; DIDN'T. Was supposed to do laundry; DIDN'T.

So now, I have to wake up extra early to see if my dad would be kind enough to take me to find a card and get back in enough time to get ready and figure out what to do with the hair.

And all this gloomy weather isn't helping!

*deep breath*

feeling a bit better now.

maybe a hot relaxing shower and some tea will help.

sleep isn't sounding too bad either.

My Prayer <3

(DISCLAIMER: I do not own these kids or know who they are. They were cute so I used them)

I don't know if you're near or far away

But I know that I'm thinking of you today

I don't know if I even know your name

But I know that I'm praying for you just the same

Someday we'll fall in love

You'll be mine and I will be yours

Our hearts will be one

And our love will ever endure

Then I'll need you, and I'll want you

And I'll find you someday

Then I'll love you, then I'll hold you

And I'll be with you always

Our love will be so strong and pure

You will make me feel like I have never felt before

You will be perfect only for me 

You will make these eyes begin to see

Someday we'll fall in love

You'll be mine and I will be yours

Our hearts will be one

And our love will ever endure

Then I'll need you, and I'll want you

And I'll find you someday

Then I'll love you, then I'll hold you

And I'll be with you always

Your faith for the Lord will be strong

Even though I know the wait is long

And though I'm young I still belive

That you're out there praying for me

Then I'll need you, and I'll want you

And I'll find you someday

Then I'll love you, then I'll hold you

And I'll be with you always

busy busy busy

Tomorrow: going to see Terminator with a few people... hopefully.

Friday: Beach day! 

May 25-27: Palm Springs!

June 1: Disneyland!

June 3: Disneyland again! (cuz i have a pass and I CAN! haha)

June 13: Wedding...which i need to shop for a dress still

I'd also like to squeeze Knott's in sometime soon! that'd be great. :D

<3

and a couple of these over the summer:

Prophetic dreams?

Ever had one of those?

I have!! It's an incredible experience when you realize what's going on! haha  Well, one weirded me out, but we won't speak of that :D Recently I've been having a ton of dreams and I love it! I love dreaming! It's so much fun! Unless in that dream you are a Bella Swann type character from Twilight and are with Edward Cullen (of course) [the one from the movie. not the Edward in my head] and stuck in the mountains while it's snowing and freezing and he's all pale and gross with rosie cheeks!  yes.... That was the dream I had a few nights ago. Except in my dream we like, fell down the mountain and I'm pretty sure I was trying to get away from the Edward and he was coming after me.  [story of my life- thanks alot Lisa for pointing that out to me!] LOL

Recently I also had a dream that consisted of me liking a dark haired boy, who liked me back, and we were in a hotel [with my mom and a whole bunch of friends], and i tripped over something.  Sounds semi normal right? Well! My mom had a dream that same night that I liked a dark haired boy, who liked me back, and we were in a hotel room and I tripped over something!    Bizarre right?!  I'm still spazzing over it...

Free concert this weekend! Big Beach to-do next weekend! and then Palm Springs for Bachelorette Getaway!!

sooooo excied!

Mind Vomit

Have you ever had one of those days/nights where the next morning you wake up and ask yourself "what happened??" but you're not a drugs or alchohol person? haha. I blame these random people I call friends. They're the greatest.

I've realized that no matter how old guys are, they will still act like boys and get excited over superhero movies and pretend to be said superheroes in a semi-empty parking lot at 4in the morning. It's quite entertaining :] and I wouldn't trade them for the world.

Speaking of which, I highly recommend seeing X-Men Origins:Wolverine. It's pretty fabulous. Gambit is pretty spankin' himself...AND HE MAKES THINGS SPARKLE SOMETIMES!

Do you have a movie that you can watch whenever you're feeling upset/frustrated/or just need something calming? I've realized that I have one, it changes from time to time, but right now it's Tim Burton's Corpse Bride. I don't know why, but I find it oddly calming. The Lord of the Rings is another one, but only if I have the time. haha

Let's talk about today's weather a tad okay?

This morning it was overcast and a bit humid but still really warm. The clouds burned off and the sun came out and it was still really hot. It started cooling down, we had an earthquake [that i'm still bitter about because it woke me up from my nap and i couldn't fall asleep again], got even cooler and it rained! Stopped raining and now i'm hot again. Oh, you are a funny one, Lord. lol

Ha, so this blog is just a bunch of mind vomit <--- grossest term ever but it seemed to fit.

5 Things to Have when Zombies attack!

Me- Zombie Repellent, a Chankla, A Friend to Trip, a Getaway Camel, & Girl Scout Cookies or another Friend to Trip


Jessica- Shotgun w/ Unlimited amounts of ammo, Unlimited supply of Anecdote, Tranquilizer Darts, Chains, & Friends


Lisa- Grease/Oil [whichever is slipperiest], a Big area of Clear Ground like an empty Wal-Mart, a Camera, Popcorn, & a Key to lock up the place when I'm finished.


Deanna- iPod, a Computer, a Bible & 2 Friends that aren't Zombies to talk to


Mom- 5 friends to put between me and the Zombie

Oh, how my friends are creative.